Safety at Lovely Fate
Have a safety concern? Please report an incident here
One of the things that makes Lovely Fate special is the care we invest in fostering a culture of consent, respect, kindness, and mutual accountability.
That culture doesn't happen by accident. It comes from clear expectations, thoughtful members, and a dedicated team committed to promoting positive interactions and helping maintain a welcoming environment for everyone.
Our Community Standards
Everyone that attends a Lovely Fate event is expected to follow our Code of Conduct. It outlines the standards we expect for how members and other attendees interact with one another, both at events and within our community.
If you're new to Lovely Fate, we encourage you to read and understand the Code of Conduct before attending your first event. These guidelines aren't simply a list of rules - they're the foundation of the respectful, consent-focused culture that helps make our community what it is.
Newcomer Orientation
All newcomers attending one of our play parties for the first time must attend an orientation hosted by our Safety Team before entering the event.
During this orientation, we go over:
Our Code of Conduct
Consent and communication expectations
Play party etiquette
How to identify members of the Safety Team
What to do if you ever need assistance
Returning attendees are always welcome to attend orientation again - even experienced attendees often find it to be a helpful refresher.
Our Safety Team
Lovely Fate's safety program is overseen by our Safety Director, Laura Ramadei. Each play party is supported by a dedicated Safety Team consisting of Guardians led by a Safety Coordinator. There is always at least one Guardian on duty in each play area throughout the event - they wear glowing red wristbands or armbands so that you can easily spot them.
Guardians are there to:
Help promote a respectful and welcoming atmosphere
Monitor for conduct that appears inconsistent with our Code of Conduct or consent expectations
Answer questions and assist members
Help resolve concerns before they become larger issues
Provide support if anyone needs assistance or feels uncomfortable
Their role isn't to interrupt people having fun. They're there to support our community, help uphold our standards, and be a visible resource whenever someone needs assistance.
If Something Doesn't Feel Right
If anyone ever does something that makes you uncomfortable, we want to know.
Fortunately, our community has a very high standard for respectful, consensual interactions, and significant incidents are rare.
Many of the situations our Safety Team addresses are relatively minor - for example, reminding someone to tidy up after using a play space, or helping clarify a misunderstanding about etiquette. In most cases, these situations are resolved respectfully in the moment and become opportunities for learning.
If something does happen that concerns you, we encourage you to speak with a Guardian as soon as possible.
Reporting concerns during the event gives our team the best opportunity to understand what happened, respond appropriately, and provide support where needed.
After the Event
Following every play party, the Guardian Team submits incident reports to our Safety Director for review.
Our Safety Director reviews each report and determines whether any follow-up action is appropriate.
If something happened during an event that wasn't reported at the time, you can still let us know afterward using our Report an Incident form.
Reports submitted through this form go directly to our Safety Director, and are reviewed carefully and confidentially.
How We Respond
We take incident reports seriously and strive to respond thoughtfully, fairly, and consistently.
Depending on the nature of an incident, responses may include:
Education or coaching
Verbal or written warnings
Temporary suspension from events
Permanent removal from the Lovely Fate community
Our goal is to help maintain a respectful, welcoming community while treating everyone involved fairly and giving careful consideration to the information available.
Accountability Applies to Everyone
The expectations in our Code of Conduct apply equally to attendees, performers, organizers, and members of the Lovely Fate team.
Our leaders and staff are held to the same high standards of conduct that we expect from every member of our community.
If a concern ever involves someone on our own team, please report it to us. Our Safety Director is committed to ensuring that all matters are reviewed fairly and impartially.
As an additional safeguard, we also work with an independent Ethics Liaison. This provides members with an alternative reporting channel if they have concerns involving a member of the Lovely Fate leadership team and feel that the matter may not be addressed fairly through our usual reporting process.
A Community We Build Together
Creating a respectful, consent-focused community is a shared responsibility.
While our Safety Team works diligently to promote a positive environment, every member also plays an important role by communicating openly, respecting boundaries, looking out for one another, and speaking up when something doesn't feel right.
No event or community can eliminate every risk, which is why we encourage members to exercise good judgment, communicate clearly, and seek assistance from a Guardian whenever they have questions or concerns.
We're continually looking for ways to improve our safety processes and welcome thoughtful feedback from our members. If you have suggestions for how we can continue strengthening our community, we'd love to hear from you.